Liberal American Guilt and Israel:
Dialogue between mother, college aged daughter and her friend on the May 16, 2021, during the Israeli Palestinian conflagration
(based on a true conversation) Location: San Jose, California
Daughter: Why is Israel attacking the Palestinians now and I understand that the Palestinians shouldn’t have launched rockets into Israel, but they seem trapped. And why aren’t the Israelis letting the Muslims pray? I can’t understand what is going on? How should I think about this? All of my friends are confused and I don’t know, feel self conscious. This is so hard….
Mom: You are right of course…It is hard. I am thinking a lot about this myself… Personally, I support Israel as a Jewish state, and support a two state solution. The origins of the conflict goes back to its founding of course. And I am not going to get into that whole deal except to say that our collective guilt as Jews should be about what we have done to the Palestinians subsequently and not about building a state. (But that’s another story). I really recommend a very honest book written by an Israeli called My Promised Land, by Ari Shavit.There are a few others as well that are worthwhile reading. I am very much against Netanyahu and his policies towards Palestinians, Israeli Arabs, migrants and others. And as you said, so are many Israelis and many Jews. Mostly non religious Jews… The problems in Israel in my opinion is that Netanyahu in his tenure as prime minister which has been almost fifteen years, has purposely sabotaged the peace process between the Palestinians and Israelis and has done everything he
can to maintain his power through his coalitions with the religious Jews primarily.
This has radicalized the entire Israeli and diaspora population for that matter, and divided it roughly into half. This kind of division isn’t unlike that which we see today in this country. However, there is a difference… that is that the Palestinians and Israeli Arabs have had to watch Israelis settle in “occupied territory” and demolish their homes and be involved in a sort of helpless asymmetrical struggle against a mini superpower. So, I guess in this context, Israel has only hardened its position during the time of Netanyahu and it is absolutely understandable that when you do this to another group, and don’t leave them any way out, they will of course rebel any way they can to recover their dignity. So where does this leave us…?
This is only one perspective of course. If I put the above in the context of the Palestinians who are very divided themselves, and have made their own series of weird choices; there is another point of view. If I look at the regional politics, Israel has positioned itself between two Islamic nations fighting each other, one of which is a nuclear power (Iran and Saudia Arabia). And I should add that I have no doubt that the most extreme elements of the Palestinians would like to “throw the Jews into the sea” the same way the most hard line Jewish Israelis would like to “expel the Arabs.” And then there is the context of America’s perceived weakness as an honest broker in the world and region since Trump came to power. Trump of course gave Israel a pass with building on occupied territories, moving the capital to Jerusalem and encouraging the Abraham Accords which bypasses the Palestinian issues and further enflames US, Iranian relations. Basically, President Trump had given Israel free reign to act any way they wished regarding the extreme religious population of Israel and further intensifying the conflict….
Daughter: It is so frustrating.
Mom: Within Israeli politics itself, the awful thing is that religious nationalists have been given and taken more and more power and the consequence is that Netanyahu is actually a liberal compared to those leaders… He is the most liberal of all these extreme orthodox groups…
I’m sorry I’m going on so long… I hope this is making sense and not more than you asked for. Unfortunately it is difficult and I guess if one supports Israel as a Jewish state, one takes it with its flaws and tries to change it as we do here. This is the way I feel about it, but I completely understand that Israel has been marginalized in the world in the progressive movement due to its “bad behavior.” There really aren’t great excuses. When I lived in Israel a zillion years ago; it was the darling of the left in the world because of its socialist founding and there were volunteers working on the kibbutzim from Sweden, Denmark, Germany etc.
Daughter’s friend: This is amazing ! Please go on. I’m learning so much and some of what you are saying is resonating.
Daughter: My nervous system goes into a- threat response-when I hear about anti Zionism and I fear this will cause more anti — Semitism, and yet I don’t want to support this hate that is happening and cannot figure out how to say that without sounding anti-israel, you know ? I know the government’s actions are anti Hamas and the terrorists but do most people understand that? I’m not sure. It doesn’t even seem like an equal fight.
Mom: I guess it is important to point out the weirdest thing of all for some of us who were raised as liberal Jews in the United States, is that anti-semitism is really alive and well in Europe and
It appears in this country as well these days. This kind of raises the existential question of whether there should be someplace where the Jews should or can go due to their own history. For example, because of rising anti semitism the last few years in France, violent anti semitism, there are whole French communities now in Israel… Same with some South American countries and so I guess we have to consider this in the context of many residents of Israel and the west feeling as if Israel’s safety is existentially necessary by all means possible. As a Jew it is also a horrible conundrum because we should ask how can a country be governed using religious values? Any country? It is hard for Americans to relate at all to an Israel or a Saudi Arabia because we are so used to the principle of dividing church and state… The question is to support or not support this unusual country and that is ultimately a very personal decision. I have always been skeptical of Israel and actually that is the reason I originally went to live and study there. I still am, but feel very connected to the country and support it and fight any way I can against the people I perceive who have turned Israel around from the intentions of its founders. Now this sort of reminds me of the absolute crazies and extremists doing the exact same to this country right now….
Daughter: You make such a good point. Even though America is pretty much a Christian country and many parts of the world seem like they are basically Muslim.
Mom: Yes, it’s so hard I wish it wasn’t like this.
Interestingly, when Israel was founded the idea of it being a “religious” state meant something else… I know, I wish it wasn’t as well. I know that most American kids in particular, have big problems with Israel often for good reasons and for some of the same reasons that you and your friend do. Your one cousin in Israel is very left and votes very left. Your other cousins are very
religious and feel like I am a traitor because I read the newspaper “Ha’aretz” or the New York Times, both of which are often quite critical of the country….
Daughter’s friend: Really?
Mom: What is really interesting is that the Israeli press, and the Israeli population is actually way more critical of Israel’s actions and attitudes, than anyone outside of Israel is. Most of the world doesn’t know that. Ultimately, if Israel is going to survive, it’s going to need to either settle for a two state solution or I’m afraid, it will be difficult for it to survive as a democratic state… It can’t survive as one big state with Arabs and jews, at least not as a democracy. It will be really hard.
Daughter: Oh my god, it is so crazy!! I never knew how complicated it is what’s going on there.
Daughter’s friend: I know. I’ve never really talked to my family about this. I’m going to do that. It’s just that everyone is so sensitive when I even suggest that Israel is doing anything wrong. It’s very hard to see the people living in Gaza suffer like they are with all the bombing…
Mom: I know, it’s tough. Anyway, I’ll leave it at that for now… sorry to have gone on like this… on the other hand, it was an opportunity to think through some of my own thoughts about this.
Daughter: I just think as Jews our trauma response blocks us from having reasonable conversations about all of this — whether Israeli, Jew, Safaradi, America or whomever. And we need to.
Daughter’s friend: I wish we could have a new cultural state like in Canada. Haha. I will listen to that book when I have more space.
Mom: Good night girls. I’m sure we’ll have more drama to talk about tomorrow…
I
This is a basic conversation that many Jewish American parents who are sympathetic and supportive of Israel have had with their children and others about Israel’s actions toward Gaza during the last ten and half days. Although it is very basic; it nevertheless, is real and reflects the questions and conflicts many American Jews, especially the young, have regarding Israel. As opposed to simply reporting the distance and alienation which American Jews feel from today’s Israel the more time passes since the Holocaust or rates of diaspora intermarriage grow; it is important to address directly why the diaspora, Jewish and non Jewish should or should not support Israel and if so, how. Just as within Israel there are many positions and criticism regarding Israel’s action toward the Palestinian population, that is the same in the Jewish diaspora. This is a policy problem for Israel about which diaspora Jews may or may not agree.
As a review of a Pew study points out, although Jews in America do often feel a relationship with Israel and less detached than often cited; while they are largely emotionally attached to Israel, they are more critical of the Israeli government than their parents and do in fact feel more sympathetic towards the Palestinian situation. For these reasons alone, it is our responsibility to keep an honest and transparent conversation going about our relationship with Israel -even if it is difficult.
The conversation above, simplistic as it might seem, illuminates the ways in which Israel has an opportunity to reach out and build bridges with American and western Jews. Depending upon their actions, they can also create a. More open and positive view of Israel by all.
